Single Parenting

planadoption.com - for those facing unplanned pregnancy

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming A Single Parent

An unplanned pregnancy can make your whole world seem out of control—so many unanswered questions, so many emotions to deal with. We want to give you an opportunity to look at some of those difficult, stressful questions for yourself.

We’ve gathered these questions from real birth mothers who are trying to make a very difficult decision. These are also the questions that have led so many birth mothers to choose an adoption plan for their baby. We hope that by seriously looking at your answers, you can find some resolution and understanding of what an awesome and loving choice adoption can truly be.

  1. Can I count on my family and friends for support?
  2. Is the neighborhood I live in now a place where I would want to raise a child?
  3. Never ending love—do I have it to give?
  4. When my child is misbehaving, how will I discipline him or her?
  5. How do I feel about being responsible for kids 24/7?
  6. How do I handle my anger?
  7. Do I have the patience that a baby requires?
  8. Within the first three months I will get very little sleep. How will that affect me?
  9. What are my hopes and dreams for myself?
  10. What are things I would have to give up because I now have a baby?
  11. Am I organized enough to schedule a plan for myself and my child?
  12. Am I expecting my baby to make my life happy and complete?
  13. Will I allow my child to affect my personal growth and development?
  14. Having children can be stressful at times. Am I ready to take this on?
  15. How well do I take care of my own health and safety?
  16. Do I have what it takes to keep my baby healthy and safe?
  17. My ability to do whatever I want to do whenever I want will end. Is that okay with me?
  18. Am I making enough money to support my child and myself?
  19. Could I handle a child and a job and/or school at the same time?
  20. What lessons have I learned from my parents? Any mistakes I want to avoid?
  21. Asking for help and telling people how I feel—does that come naturally to me? Is that what I want for my baby?
  22. Do I plan to continue dating? How will this affect my child? How will a child affect future dating?
  23. Do I expect my baby to be like me?
  24. What do I value and treasure? Do I want to pass these on to my child?
  25. What kind of future can I offer my child?

After answering these questions you should have a better idea if being a single parent is right for you at this moment of your life.

Adoption is not an easy decision. The final question you must ask yourself: “What is best for my baby, and what is best for me?”

Below is a table listing the estimated costs of raising a child for a single parent in the United States in 2004.

  • The average cost of raising a child per month is $1,000
  • The average cost of raising a child per year is $12,000
  • The average cost for the child age 0-18 years is over $200,000
Age of child Housing Food Trans. Clothing Health care Care / edu. Misc. Total
Infant - 2 yrs 3254 1458 1040 419 338 864 540 7911
3 - 5 yrs 3699 1539 905 446 500 1175 702 8964
6 - 8 yrs 3929 1944 1053 527 594 1067 959 10071
9 - 11 yrs 3767 2255 756 540 756 513 770 10004
12 - 14 yrs 3780 2255 878 905 810 648 743 10017
15 - 17 yrs 3996 2457 1377 1053 797 500 864 10950
Total (17 yrs.) 67271 35721 18023 15917 22600 10590 10170 174651

As you can see, some of these costs are staggering! It would cost less to go college for one year than to raise one child.

Did you know that adoption costs you absolutely nothing?

Estimates are based on the Consumer Expenditure Survey data updated to 2004 dollars using the Consumer Price Index. Estimates are based on an only child in a single parent family.